There are things people ask us to do that we don’t do. There are things we tell ourselves that we want to do that we don’t do. Yes, I do it too. Not as often as I use to do it but it still happens. The thing is, when something matters, it happens.
I said, when it really matters, you find the time to make it happen. No excuses, no matter what. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Now if your mind, your inner voice is arguing with this idea because you don’t want to believe it. I get it. You don’t want to come to terms with the power you have to get things done. You find it difficult to hold yourself accountable for being the one who decides. This might be hard to hear but if you really want it to happen, you’ll find the time.
If it doesn’t matter more than your resistance to it, you will find an excuse. If you think it should matter more than your resistance to it, you will find a really great excuse. Let me help you prove this to yourself with a few pointed questions. Answering these three questions will show you where to find the time to do what really matters. Now this stays between me and you so don’t worry if your responses strike you as inappropriate, immature, unhealthy, rude, or just plain wrong. Be as honest with yourself as you can. We want the unvarnished truth, no matter how off color it may be. Okay, take a deep breath in. Are you ready? Great! Now see how easy answering that practice question was? You’re doing wonderful. Keep going. The three questions to ask yourself when you can’t find the time to do what really matter are:
Does It Really Matter Enough?
No seriously. Does that thing you haven’t found time to do really matter enough? No REALLY. Think about it for a moment. I’m not asking if it matters to them. I’m asking does it really matter enough to you to find time to do it. You found the time to take your sick child to the doctor. You found the time to change that flat tire. You found the time to watch that television show. What are some other things you manage to find time for? I’m not judging you. I’m encouraging you notice the inconsistencies. When it really matters, you find the time. So if you can’t find the time to exercise, or to eat better, or to have tea with that friend, or finish that novel, ask yourself “Does this really matter enough to me to find time for it?” You’ve noticed the pattern in your life that proves if it matters enough, you have the time. That’s a big first step.
If you realize it doesn’t really matter enough, then your issue is not finding time. Your issue is setting better boundaries around what you say you will do. If that’s the case, try to be more intentional about where you spend your time. If you need a hand figuring out how to set better personal boundaries in a loving way, I’d be delighted to help. If that thing you can’t find time to do does really matter, let’s keep moving through the questions.
What’s The Real Benefit Of Not Doing It?
Why do you keep giving me that look? These are serious questions. What does it benefit you to NOT do that thing that matters to you but is not getting done? Again, we’re not being politically correct. We’re not judging you for being honest. This is how you help yourself. When you avoid doing it, how does that benefit you? Think about a time you didn’t do something and allow yourself to admit how awesome it was not to do it. What did you get out of not doing it? Now bring yourself back to this current situation. Are you escaping something unpleasant? Are you flexing your power and control against an authority? Does the thought of actually getting it done frighten you or make your stomach turn? Sit with this next one. Who do you get to be as long as that thing isn’t happening and how does that fit with how you see yourself and what believe you deserve? If it’s not getting done, you might not consider it a good reason, but there is some benefit to you. Find it. Hold it up to the light. Now that you see it, you have the power to meaningfully respond to it. Trust your wisdom.
If I Could Find The Time, What Would Be The First Step?
Take a moment to imagine that it matters enough and you’ve decided to deal with the benefits of not doing it. If you had the time, what would you do first? How long would it take? An hour? A day? If you had 15 minutes what could you accomplish? That report needs to be filed, that difficult conversation needs to be held. Actually showing up to find the time and get it done could be just a matter of breaking it up into more manageable steps. Take the first step now. Go on. You took the time to read this, take a few more minutes right now and begin using the time you have to do what matters most to you.