THE BEST WAY TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT IS NOT TO EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ANYONE
I came across this quote and immediately found myself nodding my head in agreement. You see, I’ve lived by this motto most of my adult life. I’ve never allowed anyone to get close enough to either disappoint or hurt me. When someone offers a lending hand or a kind gesture, I decline with a warm smile. I make up an excuse for not accepting the offer. I say, “No worries, I’ve got it.” or” No, that’s alright, I’ll do it.” I’ve become my own “end all be all.”
My dad set the standard when it comes to men, and he’s the only man I’ve ever trusted. There are so many others that never stood a chance because I never gave them the opportunity.At work, I handle my own projects. When I’m in a group or on a committee, I take on the brunt of the responsibility because I want it done right. I don’t trust anyone but myself to make sure that it is.
But is this quote about power or more about fears and insecurities?
Avoiding disappointment has led me to feelings of frustration, isolation, and anger. It causes me to carry the load and become my own accountability partner. Am I cheating others out of their added value as well as their self-worth in my life? If so, it’s is not fair to either one of us.
I should allow people to fall or rise to the occasion. If I’m let down, that doesn’t mean that I will stop trusting people; it means that I will no longer trust THAT person. Going forward, I guess I will hold people accountable, no longer letting ANYONE off the hook. I will give everyone a chance to be culpable. I don’t want to go through life with low expectations of everyone I meet. I will hold them to a higher standard. I have lived too long in a state of distrust. It’s time to trust the process and other people.