Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes.
In the past 18 months, I have experienced more change than the average person. It’s still hard to process and even harder to move on. I’ve experienced the “D” word, yes, D-I-V-O-R-C-E, which can be earth-shattering. It’s easy to lose yourself. A lot of times in the past, I did not know if I was coming or going. I felt like I was always catering to someone else’s needs and neglecting my own. I had always been a lone wolf, but marriage made me feel accepted. Being a wife became a role I coveted as it made me feel whole, worthy, and accomplished.
It also became my excuse and my crutch to avoid the secret yearnings of my soul. Lifelong dreams fell by the wayside. Marriage became my refuge, a secret hiding place, and a self-imposed exile.
Divorce causes you to question who you are and even more who you were. Change is challenging, especially for me, such a creature of habit. Strange, but I’m on the edge of my seat with excitement, wondering which way the pendulum is going to swing. It’s time to take chances I’ve never taken before and move in circles that I never thought I would be able to. As difficult as it will be, I have to take a close, hard look in the mirror and see myself, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s time for examination, exploration, and self-discovery. It’s “me time.”
Today I look at divorce as a gift. Today I embrace change.