We all do it. Even if we don’t admit it—we all talk to ourselves.
Most times there are all of these “under your breath” type of comments that we make, like “How could you forgotten THAT?” or “I hope no one else saw that”. But then there are the other comments that are a bit more critical and sometimes downright mean—“OMG how could I have been SO stupid?” or “I’m a complete idiot. WHY do I keep messing up?!”
These internal conversations are ones that happen most times without us even thinking about it. They just happen. We have over 20,000 internal conversations a day. Everything from what we’re wearing, to what we need to check off on our “to-do” list and what we think about how we should have responded in that last conversation or whether or not we made the right decision. And most times what we say to ourselves has more impact on what we think about ourselves and who we believe we are than anything that other people may say or do.
I want you to take a moment, stop and really think about the types of messages that you’re sending to yourself on a moment by moment, day by day basis.
- How is what you’re saying to yourself making you feel?
- Is what you’re saying rooted in truth or facts–or is it based on opinions or emotions?
- Is what you’re saying to yourself helpful and supportive?
- How is this internal dialogue moving you forward?
If the things that people say to you and about you have an impact on your self-esteem and sense of worth, then wouldn’t it stand to reason that what you say about yourself has more of a long-term impact? These internal “Notes to Self” start to form the basis of the outcomes that you’re going to see actually happen in your life. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re a screw-up, then guess what? You’re probably going to make more than your share of mistakes or missteps. But what if your “Notes to Self” were instead filled with affirmations, facts and positive, action-focused statements of not only who you are, but of who you can become?
There are messages that we internalize all of the time based on things that happen and our interactions with others. What if instead of taking in things that may be less than positive about who you are (or who you THINK you are); you instead start to create a narrative of who you can become and who you want to be?
Self-talk is a powerful thing. Our internal conversations and the voices in our heads have more power over us than we sometimes realize.
Self-talk is a powerful thing. Our internal conversations and the voices in our heads have more power over us than we sometimes realize. Verbal abuse can happen internally just as much as it can coming from someone else. So since you now know the power of words that are spoken about you and over you; why not make a pledge to reprogram your inner voice by creating your own “Notes to Self” that are filled with promises of the good that you want to see in your life and that celebrate the potential and the gifts that you have within?
Start being aware of the messages that you give yourself about yourself. Whenever your notice that your self-talk is turning into more criticism than honest critique, take a breath and reset. After all, if you can’t speak kindly to yourself about yourself, why would anyone else?